Those Words

Maybe it was the way they were said to me. So matter of fact like. Maybe it was because it was something I already knew but wasn't ready to acknowledge. Maybe I'm just tired of thinking about it and now I will always have to. I just wanted it to go away and those words will forever be a part of me.

I am an injury prone athlete. I went to the doctor this morning for a second follow up for my shin. Yes I still have shin splints. Most centered near the bottom of the shin which also wraps around my ankle. The good news is that I would say I'm 75% better. If I can run 13 miles one day then bike 25 the next and still be able to walk without pain then yes it most definitely is better. But what about all the times that it still aches and the times it does act up when running. Or how about this morning as I was walking up the stairs I could feel it pulling. Or when I twist the wrong way and an instant jolt goes up the leg. What about all that? This injury is almost impossible to heal because there is no blood flow to the tissue that attaches to the bone. It's the tissue that is pulling away from the bone, which causes the pain. It's a long process to fully heal and the problem is that doing nothing doesn't make it better and doing too much will make it worse. So I'm stuck in limbo. Best solution I have is to finish PT this month and then forever continue to do all the same things at home in hopes with all my training that I can keep it under control, aka be able to withstand the pain.

I have dealt with many injuries, both knees, hip and groin area, heels of my feet and other more minor aches and pains. All of which I have battled and won. This time all is stacked against me.

After I left the doctors I got in the car with a heavy sigh and heavy heart. I had a pity party for myself with a few adjoining tears for the first 10-15 minutes then decided really there's nothing I can do about it but move forward and hope for the best. I may end up in more pain than before. I will find the strength to get through it. All I can do is what the doctor told me. Keep up with the exercises, back off when it gets worse, then get right back to it. Take days of rest when needed cause if I don't I may loose months of training.

I still have a goal to reach. I will do this 1/2 iron man. This injury will not stop me.