It's been a few days now since the race has been over. I just didn't have the energy to go over everything that happened that day yet again. I have played it over and over in my mind and have talked about it a lot with the family. But I do want to make sure I get this down on "paper" so that I can refer back to it when I'm ready to do the next one. Yes...there will be a next one.
I guess I should start with the day prior. Uneventful really with the exception of going to the park where the race would start and finish. We thought we would check out the lake see where the buoys were and get a feel of the water. Not sure this helped me much. Actually I know it didn't. A storm was headed our way. We were at the edge of a huge wind and rain storm that went right through the Chicago land area. Wisconsin was getting the wind albeit not as strong as Chicago. However do you know what happens when 20-25 mph winds are on the lake? Waves, big ones. I shuttered at the thought that it would be like that tomorrow. Not only in the water but on the bike. Wind can take so much out of you. Much harder than rain or sun. With rain you get wet, big deal. You're already wet from the swim anyway. Gets a bit slippery on the roads but that's about it. The sun is hot. Very hot. But in the water doesn't matter. On the bike you create your own breeze that keeps you cool as long as your drink fluids properly. The run would be hard in the sun, but this particular course is a trail run. About 75% full shade. Dave and my Dad tried to reassure me the storm would pass and tomorrow would be better.
It wasn't. It was exactly the same. As we packed up to leave for the race at around 5 am. I just stared at the flags outside the hotel. They were flapping all over the place. Strong winds coming from the WSW. I was already nervous and shaky. Now my anxiety went up a notch. About a 15 min ride over to the park and people were flowing in pretty quick. Gathered all our gear and headed to transition. Dad and I were right next to each other. Set up and then got body marked and got our timing chip. With plenty of time to just wait a panic attack started to set in. The waves now at about 3-4 feet. The winds weren't going to let up anytime soon. I think back now to why was I in such a panic. I think it was a combination of things. The fear of the unknown. This is a race I had never done. Never attempted this length. Didn't know the course. Didn't know what to expect. All I knew was that I hate wind, hills and waves. I am a good swimmer. Compared to the average Joe I could out swim just about anyone. But when your in a field of elite athletes, athlete's who have done this distance many times and athlete's that are familiar with this particular race you start to feel like you have no business being there. That sense of knowing exactly what to do seems to go out the window. At least for me it did. Tears started to fall. I couldn't breathe. I was shaking. It was awful. The hardest part was knowing that no matter how I felt I was still going to do it. I tried so hard to keep myself calm. Really I did do that. It could of been so much worse if I had just allowed myself to totally lose it. I think back on it now and realize I didn't need to be so afraid. I knew what I had to do. I knew I could fight those waves. Nothing was going to stop me from at least trying. I knew that then and I know it now. I do know that having that panic attack took a lot out of me. I hadn't slept in two days. So I was not as physically prepared as I could of been. That would show up later in the race.
We were wave 3. The first wave after the elites. Not sure that was the smartest thing. But oh well. Even though the lake had horrible waves, it was shallow for about the first 200m. You could walk it. Every athlete walked the beginning. It was faster that being thrown around by the waves. We were headed right into them. Eventually you could walk no longer and this is when I had to make the decision that yes I could do this. Off I went. A whole stroke or two. Stopped tread water, thinking well this is harder than I thought. I had my eye set on the far buoy. If I can just get to that buoy we turn and the waves will be at an angle not directly in front of us. Just get to that buoy. Off I went again. Getting slapped in the face as I breathed. Being pushed back as I was trying to go forward. It was the longest 150m meters I have ever swam. But I made it. Made the turn and quickly realized that this is what I needed. It was still much harder than you r average lake swim but doable. Sighting was next to impossible. As you would look up every few strokes the waves blocked you view of the next buoy, so a few times I had to stop and tread water and wait until I could see it to make sure I was on course. Keeping on course was the hardest part at this point. Passed another two buoys with really no one near me. I pretty much was alone for most of the swim. I was out a lot farther in the water than most of the athletes. Made my last turn towards shore. Now we were with the waves. Kinda like surfing in. Had about another 300m to go. New problem. I couldn't see! The sun was rising behind the beach, shining off the water. I couldn't see a thing in front of me. So I swam and swam hoping I was going the right way. I'd adjust a bit and swim some more. There was a group of swimmers about 50y ahead of me. I tried to keep their bobbing head in front of me. One time I looked up and someone was standing. Yes, getting close. I finally stood about 50m from shore. Walked it in the rest of the way. I was tried. Mentally drained and knew I had to get over that quick and move on to the next phase. After getting out of the water you stepped up onto the grass had my wetsuit stripped and had to walk up a grassy hill to get to transition. I chose not to run like everyone else to keep my heart rate down. Dave tells me I swam that in about 33 mins. Which officially became 35. The fastest I have ever swam in a pool was 43. 35 impossible. I believe the course was short. With the winds I think the buoys weren't right or they actually shorten the course for safety reasons. Maybe swimming with the waves in made up alot of time. Who knows. What I do know it that if I ever have to swim with waves again, I'll be ready. It was like swimming in the ocean.
Onto transition.......I didn't rush. I just did what had to be done. Shirt on, socks on, shoes on, sunscreen on face, Gu in pockets, sunglasses on, helmet on. Off I go.
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