Mistake

I made a mistake.

Now I have to think about what I did.

Think about what I saw.

Think about what I read.

I'm supposed to take it day by day.

Week by week.

Don't look back and don't look ahead.

Overwhelmed is not quite the right word I would use.

How about Lost?

I took a look at the schedule for the next four weeks. That would be the whole month of May. I was thinking that this weekend will be tough. Saturday a 3 3/4 hr. bike brick with a 30 min run. Then Sunday a 1 1/4 hr run. I was wrong. That is a piece of cake compared to what lies ahead. Why oh why did I look at the training calendar?

I am having a hard enough time now training, getting the kids where they need to go, taking care of a puppy, trying to get to the store before we run out of milk. Keeping up with household chores. Dinners have gotten quicker thanks to Schwans. House gets a good cleaning every other week thanks to the cleaning people. If I didn't have these options I'm not sure how I would get it all done. Now I admit that everyday there is downtime. I do have time to play around on the computer or watch a favorite show or two. That's not the problem. It's after training so hard day after day my body doesn't want to do the cleaning, cooking, mowing, gardening, so on and so on. I do just what needs to get done and nothing more. My body needs that down time so it can recover and get ready to do it all over again the next day. No big projects going on in the house right now. Those will have to wait. The painting, redoing the bathroom, bedroom and whatever else I want done won't happen until the fall. Unless of course my husband would like to do it for me. I just can't do it all.

So with the feeling that I just can't do it all and my family is eating frozen albeit good dinners I'm feeling guilty as it is. Then I had to go and look at the calendar. Hours and hours of training on the weekends (around baseball games of course. Many, many hours during the week.

These next 4 weeks will be the most important training I will do. This will make me or break me. Once I get to June the training starts to slow down by week 2. But at least there is a race at the end of the tunnel. Right now I'm starting down the tunnel not knowing how I'm going to get to the end.

Day by day.........smack me if I look more than a week ahead at a time!