Time to Find

I've spent some time thinking.  Not sure it's done any good.  I don't feel like I've made any progress with my thoughts. I'm still in limbo.  Waiting for what I don't know.  I have spent the past 6 weeks NOT training.  That doesn't mean I don't work out.  As a matter of fact I spend at least 5 days a week working out and usually 3 of those 5 have double workouts.  What NOT training does mean is that I have not followed any program.  I do not have a piece of paper telling me what I need to do that day.  I just wing it.  I have a mental schedule of sorts.  Gym on Mon, Wed, Fri.  Run at home Tues, Thurs and the weekend.  Bike trainer once or twice a week.  But I do what I feel like doing.  This is what normal healthy fit individuals do.  They get their workouts in and go about their day.  They don't check a schedule.  They don't look ahead to see how long will the long run be on Sat.  They don't count down the days until a recovery week.  Seems like less stress.  Then why do I feel like it's a waste of time.  I'd rather not be working out.  I'd rather spend the time trying to get this anxiety under control.  I'd rather sit my butt on the couch and watch TV.  My trainer told me that I'm addicted to over training.  I just looked her in the eye and laughed out loud.  She has got me so wrong.  The reason I work out is so I can maintain a healthy body while still eating all the crap I want.  Truly that is what it is.  So I figure if I'm going to work out there should be a reward besides 50 peanut butter pretzels at about 1:30.  Boy they were yummy.

So the reward I choose along with 1/2 bag of potato chips is racing.  If I'm going to workout I might as well race.  I might as well get some bling.  In order to race you need to train.  Hence the training program.  It is time to find a program.  It's time to get to racing.  The 6 weeks "off" were needed but now I'm not focused.  I've lost my mojo.  Kinda just going through the motions.  I'm tired of that.  I need that piece of paper, or better yet computer screen to tell me what's on the schedule today?  What is going to make me stronger and faster?  I've given myself this week to figure out what training program to use.  It will be geared to my 1/2 iron man in July.  Most programs are 20 weeks.  Which means training starts on Feb 27. 

Picking a program can take time, a lot of time.  I don't have a coach. That will come when I choose to do a full iron man.  For now I do it on my own, with my training buddy in the next lane, on the next bike or on occasion running next to me.  But you see 20 years separates us.  So what works for dear old Dad may not work for me.  So I need to pick the program that works for me.  Finding that program is a workout in itself.