Three Days of Thoughts

I believe it may be true bad news comes in threes.  Maybe fours and fives for some. 
Over a week ago my husband's Uncle had a massive heart attack.  I have always been a fan of Uncle Chuck.  He went out of his way to make me feel comfortable back when I was just the girlfriend meeting the family for the first few times.  My husband has a huge family.  Very overwhelming for me at the time.  But Uncle Chuck made it seem like all would be good and that I would make a great fit.  Sure enough he was right.  This man has made remarkable progress in a week.  From being shocked 11 times to sitting in a chair chatting with the family.  He's still has a long way to go but it's a miracle that he is doing as well as he is.  A very special man indeed.

Along with that news, we found out that a friend of my sister in law had passed away.  She was obviously in pain with the loss of her own child two years ago and just couldn't go on.  Very sad news to hear even though I had only met her a few times. 

Another family member on my husband's side went into rehab.  I guess you could say this is a good thing.  But still sad to hear that it came to that in the first place.  Unfortunately drugs and alcohol abuse run in both sides of our family. 

This morning as I was swimming I wondered where my father was.  For some reason my thoughts went straight to Oreo, his dog.  I wondered if she was ok.  I finished my swim and was just opening my locker when my phone started ringing.  It was my step-mom telling me Oreo wasn't doing well.  She is 14 and lost a lot of blood during the night.  Probably cancer as they found a growth.  Still waiting to hear the results of other tests she is having done this afternoon.  As she told me the news while sobbing, I started to cry.  This dog was born when my oldest was born.  I took care of her as a puppy while taking care of a newborn.  My sisters probably don't remember not ever having her around as they were 6 I think when Oreo came home that first night.  She was so small and adorable.  Now big and slow, she has had a great life.  I hope she is lucky enough to enjoy it for a bit longer. 

As for my immediate family.......well our troubles aren't so grand.  My youngest is still sick with a chest cold after a week.  My other son has a slight head cold.  I have the chest and head cold though not enough to knock me out.  I tried the new medication that I asked for for the anxiety.  Worst stuff I have ever taken.  I was a zombie for two days.  I couldn't do a thing.  I drifted off at least 20 times a day.  There is no way I could continue taking it and get anything done.  So back to square one.  I have a call into the doctor hoping that there is something else I can try.

Well here it is Wednesday.  I started this entry on Monday.  Time got away from me.  Not much has changed these two days.  I did get my butt back to the gym after missing three workouts last week due to my chest cold.  Running is still difficult, tightness in the chest.  But I feel it getting better. 

Everyday seems to bring on new challenges.  Whether it be with me personally or the family or like today for a friend.  I listened to her for about 20 minutes explaining all that was going on.  I am one of the few that may be able to help.  Her daughter is dealing with some anxiety issues that seem to be slowing consuming her.  She is only in 7th grade.  I offered to talk to her but I'm sure there is no way she would sit and talk with me about this.  I'm hoping she will as maybe I can explain things better to her than all the doctors she has seen.  I keep telling people this but I had no idea what it was like for people with anxiety issues on a daily basis.  I could venture a guess and read and watch people but until I had it myself I truly didn't know a thing.  It has been by far the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with.  Emotionally, physically.......the damage it does to me and the family.  The hurt, the pain, the sadness, the frustration.  Unless you have been there you have no idea.  For me it is slowly getting better after 6 months of torture.  I'm not convinced it will ever go completely away.  Maybe I'm just getting better at dealing with it.  I really didn't have a choice.  Life goes on and I had to figure out a way to go on to.  To be in 7th grade and have to go through this.  How awful. 

So it's all around us.  People struggling.  For my immediate family, if all we have right now is a husband with stress with a new job and kids that are sick with colds and me who received the cold and a disorder well that's not all that bad, compared to most.  I am thankful that we have each other to lean on and to be there for.  I am thankful that we all love each other even though my kids will say I don't love my brother.  I know they do and I know we would do anything for each other to get through the rough times.  We are lucky.