Looking for Answers

I watched one of my favorite shows last night. The Biggest Loser.

Many times I wanted to cry listening to their stories. Probably not for the reasons you would think.

Most of the contestants have had a tragic death in their immediate family. I have been fortunate. I have yet to deal with anything so painful. They turned to food to ease their pain. It then became an addiction. One of the contestants had alcoholism run in the family. He made the statement that he was born with an addictive personality. Instead of alcohol, he chose food. One person just cried asking why? Why can't I say no? Why does my body say yes?

My husband rolls his eyes in disgust that these people would allow themselves to get this large. I asked him if he had any sympathy for these people. He said no. Wow, that hit a nerve. I may not look like these people, but I surely feel some of the things they feel. I completely understand why they have gotten so large. I completely understand the pain. I understand asking myself why? I have a war with myself everyday about food. Lucky for me that I am an athlete. Otherwise I would be one of those people. It's the sport that keeps me in check. If only I ate the way I should then I could be thinner, faster, stronger and better at racing. But for some reason at 2 pm. Those cookies look, taste, smell better than anything else in the world. Until I eat them and I get an upset stomach for eating so much and get mad at myself because once again I failed.

I eat way way way too much food. Too much junk and salt to be exact. I bet I could eat exactly what these Biggest Loser Contestants eat in any given day. I look forward to seeing their transformations. I look forward to the inspirational advice that is given by Bob and Jillian. I look forward to seeing them achieve their goals. I look forward to the pain they will feel at their many many workouts. The weight doesn't just fall off. You have to work at it and it isn't easy. Trust me.

My workouts will not change. My mindset however is going to have too. Otherwise I will crack soon. Something has got to change.