It was a pity fest.
It wasn't pretty.
I decided instead of running my little old three miles on the treadmill I would run with my husband outside. I didn't want to run. I didn't want to run outside. It was windy and wet, since it's been raining off and on for the second day in a row now. But I was struggling with the idea of getting it done today. So I thought best to run with him to break up the monotony of running alone all the time.
This in no way is about my husband. He did nothing wrong. He just ran. I on the other hand decided to go fast the first 1/2 mile. Like an interval. How long have I been running? On and off since I was 16. Where the hell was my warm-up? Like I said I didn't want to run today. So fast feet will get the run done quicker, right? Nope. I haven't checked the splits on the garmin but I believe the first mile was at about 8 mins. I got to 1.20 and had to stop. My nose running like crazy. Stupid. So tired of it running when I run. Blew my nose and started up again. Husband walked with me as I got that squared away. But I knew right then that this run would be one of my worst. My leg was aching. My hamstrings pulled so tight from 40lbs. dead lifts on Friday that every step felt shortened. My knees ached last night, why? Not sure. Could be the change in shoes I'm trying, could possibly be my back. My lower back on the sides have been aching when I run the past few times. Could be from a ton of core work that I did which I may not have supported my back right. Or chances are it is from my kidneys. Stupid UTI. So now we are at about 1.80 and I stop again. To blow my nose. AGAIN. I wave my husband on. I wave him again. He hesitates but decides to carry on. Good choice. You finally know when I say get away, you GET AWAY. If he hadn't who know what I would of said.
The pity fest starts. Damn nose, damn shin, damn back. WHY OH WHY CAN'T I RUN WITHOUT PAIN!! I watch my husband in front of me as I start running again. Crap he's doing an out and back. I don't want to run in that development again. I don't want to! But I do. I follow. I suffer. I stop again at about 2.4 miles to what? BLOW MY NOSE. What the hell? Why is it running so much today? Ok let's finish. It was by far the hardest run I have had in years. It was like I never ran before. First thing my husband says is that was fast. His Garmin (which is older and WRONG) said avg. pace was 8:58. Mine was 9:14. Ok so 9:14 isn't bad but the run itself was in no way smooth. Time to step up the pity fest.
I sat on our porch on the cold cement as my legs started to really ache from the top to the bottom. I put the water bottle on my back on both sides to get that area to calm down. I just sat. Stared and thought about Disney. Thought about how I'm tired. Thought about why do I do this? Then the ankle and shin started throbbing. How will I finish Disney if I can't do 3 without pain? It's not fair. This is not fair. Shorts are getting tight. 10 pounds of extra weight will do that to you. I'm miserable. I snip at my husband as he is waiting for me to go inside but doesn't say a thing. Smart man again.
I grab some ice and sit. Wrap the shin and let the tears flow, slowly so no one will notice. I feel them coming on stronger so I head to the bathroom where more flow. Pity fest completed. I get a sense of urgency. A sense of taking charge. I decide that this must stop. I need to get a grip and I need to do whatever I can to lessen the damage to my ego today. So what do I choose to do. Put myself in more pain.
I pulled out the FOAM ROLLER.
Chole was afraid of it.
So am I.
I took a deep breath and rolled my sore left leg. 2 inches down, 1 inch up, 2 inches down, 1 inch up. Over and over again. Now that was pain. I cried like a baby it hurt so bad. Well now maybe these tight IT bands could be an issue, ya think? Tears streaming down my face. My husband cringing at the sight of me. Chole pacing wondering if I was gonna die. I continued on and lasted about 10 mins through both IT bands, hamstrings, and calves. Then I got out my stick and worked the muscles some more. I now feel like I ran a marathon.
I made a promise to myself at the moment. This has got to stop. I need to do everything I can to keep my legs working properly. I will be rolling everyday now for awhile. I will get these 10 pounds off by Jan. I will ice my shin at least once a day. And I will get rid of this UTI that seems to have control over my body and now my mind. I will win this battle.
I have to.
Otherwise you are going to find me curled up in a pity ball on my bed. Quitting.
That is NOT an option.
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