In need of REM

I have been contemplating whether to post or not today. I decided even when I don't have any training news to report I should still check in. This blog is for myself...and myself needs to know what kind of week I am having. It hasn't been much of a week at all.

I am running on fumes. I have not had a decent nights sleep in two weeks. I don't ever get a good nights sleep but now it's much less than before. The bare minimum I'm working with. The problem is I never quite get to that rem sleep. Plus once I wake up I don't fall back to sleep quickly! For example last night I was awake at midnight. Why? Not sure. Then again at 1 as my husband got up to take the pup out. Then again at 2:30 as I heard her rustling around in the crate hitting the sides of it banging around. This got me thinking about the whole housebreaking thing and why does our dog not seem to mind messing in the crate? Finally drifted back to sleep at about 3:15. Alarm goes off at 4 for my husband to get up and run. How he does that I'll never understand. So I wait for him to get up leave the room. Then I listen to him take the dog out again. Then I wait. I know he's running, but what is the dog doing? Was that a whine I heard? No I don't think so. I know she's in the crate but I swear I heard her up whining to get out. It's about 4:45 at this point and I choose not to get up. If she's whining too bad I just can't get up. I drift off. Then at a little past 5 I here the footsteps. Husband back from running time for his shower. I lay there and just cry. This is so hard. Two weeks of nights like this can bring a person to tears. I've cried many mornings this week. I love my dog and we will somehow get through this. I have a feeling that it will be a few months before we can go to bed at 10 and not have to get up until after 5. I suppose I'm going to have to figure out how to fit in a nap during the day when the training gets really intense. I can't train for a 1/2 iron man without some REM sleep. My body and mind need to repair and recover during those periods. If I don't get that sleep then I get headaches, stomach aches and a sore throat just like I did last night around 7.

So with all that said I didn't work out yesterday as I had to take my car in for service and it's a bit away. I can't get that done and go to the gym for 3 hours. Puppy won't go for that. Today I have to go pick up the car. Same puppy rules apply. However instead of 3 hours at the gym I was able to hit the grocery store yesterday and I have a couple of stores to hit today after I get the car. I should be caught up on the shopping, laundry and house cleaning by the weekend. The lack of training this week really isn't a horrible thing. I won't have a designated rest day for 14 days on the training schedule. So I might as well get it now and rest the tired body for what's to come.

3 days to go, until I venture into new territory.

Misplaced

I seem to have misplaced my power? Got any idea where I might have put it??

This weekend was pretty much a blur. I got in a trainer ride of 30 miles. Tested out the aerobars for some of it. Definitely looking forward to the new saddle! I did get to enjoy some time with friends Saturday night which was nice. By Sunday after dinner my husband and I were crashed on the floor playing with the puppy. She decided to take a nap. We were as tired as she was. We decided just to lay on the floor and try and do the same. I lasted about 20 mins dozed in and out but it was just too uncomfortable! Training her is more tiring then running a marathon!

This morning I had spin class and then headed to the pool for a 2000m swim. I realized that my output is lacking. The power in my legs and my whole body is just not strong right now. I can do the work but I feel like my energy reserves to get me through the workout just aren't there. Of course this all relates to Chloe and the lack of rest I'm getting. We are going to have to work on this as 1/2 iron man training starts in a week.

I have tried out a new gadget that I got last week a couple of times now. Called sport count. It's a tiny stopwatch and lap counter. Cool thing is it slips on your finger and you just use your thumb to hit the button each time you finish a lap. It tells me my total laps, slowest lap, fastest lap, avg lap speed and my total time. With everything I've had on my mind this has been great. I'm always forgetting which lap I'm on or what meter I'm on. As long as I remember to hit the button each time it takes care of it for me. You would think it would slip off as I swim but not so. Comfortable, tiny, about the size of a nickel and very handy.

Tomorrow I will hit the pool again and then get some miles in. I need to jack up the running slightly this week so my body doesn't go into shock next week. At some point I would like to clean the house. But if I dare turn away from the dog I'll be cleaning one mess as she happily makes another.

If you happen to find my power, please return it. My guess is Chloe has it.

Please exit the ride......

Such an odd day it has been. A lot has happened today yet really nothing happened here at home. Today I feel that maybe life can get back to some normalcy. Today I get some one's attention back. How long will that last remains to be scene. It really is out of my control. I've been patient and supportive and now I need that in return. Right now the roller coaster has come to a stop and we all got off. I'm hoping not to ride that ride for a very long time.

So what did I do with my time today? I went aero. A very big step for me. I now have my bike ready for some serious mileage. Only one thing missing........a comfortable saddle!! With the changes made to the bike I now am sitting more forward on the bike and it hurts! My bike guy told me what seat I should try and for $85 I could of bought it, but I'm a sucker for a deal so I came home found the same saddle online for $30 less. So until then I'll sit in the upright position so I'm not in pain after my ride. For now I'll have to practice clipping in and out of the pedals. When the new saddle is added I'll be able to ride in the aero position. I was the first one to try the new aerobars that he just got in. They are adjustable and for a road bike that comes in handy. He was able to compensate for my short torso by bringing the bars closer to my body. I was told that it takes some practice getting used to the position and feeling stable on the bike. At least a have awhile to use them on the trainer. Can't fall off the trainer!

Glad it's Friday. Chloe is doing better little by little. I was really worried there a few days ago. But we are getting the hang of it. I still adjust my schedule for her and not much else is getting done around here. But I do have a very very happy puppy to show for it.

Fit me up!

Thursday.

Feels like it should be Friday by now.

I've worked harder this week than I have in a very long time.

Today I managed to get on the treadmill with Chloe in the crate upstairs. After about 5 mins of whining she calmed down and I started running. 7 miles total. A much better run than Tuesday. I don't think I ever hit 150 on the HR monitor. I'm still not gaining any speed though. I really don't see myself getting any faster this year. As a matter a fact I believe that my running will get slower. Two main reasons for this is, my leg and my endurance. Doing any type of speed work will just do more damage than good to my shin. Hill work and intervals will do the same. I really am limited to slow easy runs if I want to make it through the season. That certainly won't make me faster. Will that hurt my chances for a PR in a few races? Probably. However for the 1/2 iron man it's all about your endurance. I am an endurance athlete. That 1/2 marathon I have to do after a 1.2 mile swim and a 56 mile bike ride will be completely 100% mental stamina. I will not be running fast, I'll be happy just to be able to run at all.

After my 7 mile run I got on the bike and got in another 10 miles. I really need to focus more attention to the bike. I think this weekend I will forgo the running and start racking up the bike miles. Maybe see what 30 miles feels like on a trainer. Will be a good time to test it out as I'm headed to the bike shop tomorrow to put the finishing touches on my bike. I've had it just about a year now and it's time to add what I hope will make me a better cyclist. Some areobars, clip less pedals and my new bike shoes to go with it. Maybe a new drink set up in the front of the bike. I am getting a 3D computerized fitting for the bike. This will take into account my total bike shape and irregularities in length of my legs and hips. It will tell me how powerful I am and tell me how to make the most of the power I do have. I will be fitted for an areo position like you see on TV. My bike will be adjusted to fit me and no one else. Down to the centimeter. I really hope to make the most improvements in my biking this year.

Tomorrow if I'm lucky I might get in a quick workout, but I doubt it. Since I'll be gone for about 4 hrs for the fitting I will have to entertain the dog before and after I go. Then the kids are home, a birthday party to get to and since I get up with the dog at 5 I don't see myself working out at 8 pm on a Friday!

Let it be spin day..........please.

This morning as I was walking to the kitchen I said out loud, "I can not wait until I get to spin class this morning. I need the rest." Who the heck says that and means it? A person with a 10 week old puppy, that's who.

Yesterday I have to admit was the hardest puppy day I have ever gone through. This is not my first dog nor the first one I have been in charge of during the day. We had some issues. Today is better. Yesterday it was diarrhea all day along with peeing every 10 mins. I am NOT exaggerating. She literally went non stop all day. Today she is on an antibiotic for a parasite which could of caused some of the problem yesterday. That and maybe the fact that her bladder is the size of a quarter and she's 10 weeks old. Other than dealing with that I have to say she is so loving , adorable, and funny. Exactly what we were looking for.

I did make it to the gym yesterday and today. Yesterday wasn't pretty! I swam for about 1600m which went OK. I then headed to the treadmill for at least a 5 mile run. I gutted out 3 with a heart rate much higher than it should of been. Lack of sleep, food and additional stress has to be to blame. Today was slightly better with a tough spin class and 1200m swim again. My swim times are back to where they should be averaging about 9 mins per 400m. I'm curious how tomorrow will go. I plan on staying at home and running 6-7 on the treadmill and bike a few miles too. I'm hoping that my running will have improved since Tues. If Chloe will cooperate than it all should go smoothly.

Dog Days

Day three with Chloe. I'm on my own today. There was 4 of us taking care of Chloe this weekend. OK well maybe not 4. More like 2 1/2. Sunday was a planned rest day. Monday was not. I did not get to the gym. Was it Chloe's fault? Indirectly yes it was. I have found that little to no sleep will mess up my stomach pretty bad. As I have gotten older this has been more and more noticeable. There was no way I was going to be able to get through spin class. So I declared another rest day. I felt guilty about it but it's over and I have to move on.

Very Very important to set a routine for Chloe and myself this week. I will be going to the gym everyday this week in the morning. Whether she likes it or not. Whether she cries and howls for hours or whether she pees in the crate each time. I have to make a point to not give up my training for hers. Remembering that I still come first. Will I need to make adjustments, absolutely. Do I now get up about an hour earlier with her? Yes. Will it be hard to come home tired from the gym and try to ice my legs, get showered, eat and still manage to take her out 50 bazillion times, play with her and love her. Again absolutely. And that only brings me to about 1pm. Then it's a matter of trying to get the every day things done. Routine....I have to find it.

The plan is to head to the gym as soon as my youngest is out the door. Some swim drills and then to the treadmill if I can find one available. Hasn't anyone fallen off the resolution wagon yet? Last week I went looking for a treadmill around 10 am and out of about 50 there was 1 available. Go home people. Go take care of your dogs so I can get my workout done asap.

Home

I stood there trying to decide what to do.

Do I?

Do I do it?

Am I ready?

Can I handle the stress it will cause?

Can I truly enjoy the happiness this will bring?

I stood there staring at my husband and then looking down on my youngest son trying to decide. It was all 100% up to me. I got teary eye remembering how it all went down the first time around. 5 years ago I said good bye to my Labordoodle, Latte. It was by far one of the hardest things I had to do. Latte was a good dog but my children never really bonded with her as I think they were too young. Latte had so much energy that I just couldn't keep up with her. We didn't have the space she needed to run out back. She needed more from us than we could give her. I found the perfect family for her with lots of land and a boy who was struggling because he had just lost his 13 year old dog. A dog that he grew up with all his life. It was the right thing to do for all of us.

Promising myself and my husband that we would get it right this time I said......."We'll take her."

Her name is Chloe and she is a Morkie. Right now she is 9 weeks old and weights a mere 2 pounds or so. She's home curled up in my son's lap while he watches Hockey. Last night was her first night with us. She did great. Went in her crate at 10 and went right to sleep after a few hours of playing with all of us. She started to howl at 12:45 and my husband checked on her reassured her and sure enough she went back to sleep in a matter of minutes. Again she awoke at 4:30 and I went to check on her. She was fine and went back to sleep. We got up at 7 and she was so happy to see us. After checking out the towel she slept on, we do believe she peed a time or two, but of course that is expected. Today she is doing great.

So 2010 is here and I'm just piling it on. I now will be training for a 1/2 ironman, training a new puppy, taking care of the family and oh yeah my online class starts Wed through our local Community college for becoming a Physical Therapy Aide. There will be reading, tests, assignments and a final. It's been years since I did any school work! But I'm very excited about it all. Even through my tired eyes..........

Welcome Home Chloe, welcome home.

Is it?

I'm wondering if this year is it? Is it my year? Is it my year to prove my potential? Is it my year to PR? Is it my year to over come injuries and battle on to cross that magical finish line? Is it?

One of my resolutions this year was to concentrate on myself. Last year I spent a good portion of it taking care of others. Whether it was my Mother, Father, husband and kids, there always seemed to be an issue. An injury. An illness. A surgery. Or just someone who needed support to get through a rough time. I suppose that things happen and I will always be there to lend a helping hand. It just seemed like it was non stop. One thing after another. I'm afraid that this year may be much of the same. So how do I help those who need me yet not give up myself and my goals in the process? It's not like I'm training for a 5k and can work around everything. This is a 1/2 iron man we are talking about. If I'm not swimming, biking and running, I'll be eating and sleeping. Will I have the time to help and support those who need me? I truly have no idea how people train for an iron man, have a family and work outside the home. No clue how that is done. Maybe if I was a better sleeper I would be able to handle more. Every once in a while I get a great nights sleep and it's amazing in the difference I feel the following day. I would give anything to sleep like that all the time. But I know not to hold my breath as it's not going to happen.

I'm afraid that this is the year that I'm going to need the support and help. I'm also afraid that it may be hard to come by. My family is so involved in their own personal issues and drama and sometimes I feel pushed aside. I consider myself a strong individual who pretty much tells it like it is. I can come across as though I don't need any help. I can do anything and do it well. Well yes that may be all true but I still very much crave the support and help. Everyone wants that, it makes them feel loved.

So I'm 2 weeks away from starting a 5 month training plan for the 1/2 iron man. 5 very overwhelming months. I try not to look at the training to closely as it scares me to death. One day at a time, one day at a time. I will do all that I can for my family and friends, but if I'm going to cross that golden line then I'm going to have to put myself first. Everything else has to come second.

Is it my year?

Drama

Drama, we all have it. We all get involved in it. We get sucked into it even when we try to stay out of it.

As a kid I didn't go through much drama. My parents really didn't talk much at all so really there never seemed to be much drama. Except for the days that my father would come home an announce we were moving yet again due to his job. I know better now that I'm an adult with divorced parents that there was most certainly drama, I just never saw it until the end when they separated. Things for them got better and they both remarried. My life changed so much during those 3 years. I would say it was by far the hardest part of my childhood. Drama we all have it.

Fast forward to life now and really I've been lucky. Sure there has been drama but nothing that isn't dealt with quickly and then we move on. 2009 maybe a little more drama than I'd like. 2010 unfortunately doesn't seem to be getting any better. I've got immediate family drama, I have extended family drama and I have my own personal drama going on. Is this really how the year 2010 is going to be?

I figure in order to get passed the drama you have to ask for help. You have to be willing to talk about it. In regards to my body. It's falling apart and it scares me to death. I have been dealing with injuries for so long that I just want to scream and give up. But I can't, all I can do it ask for help. I refuse to give up. Family drama well that's a whole other story. Sometimes you can ask for help and sometimes you want to shy away from helping. Shy away from the drama. I've learned to never shy away from the drama. Jump in with both feet, voice my opinion, tell it like it is. This sometimes backfires but more than not it's helpful.

There's always going to be drama, you just have to figure out a way to deal with it.

Hearts are pounding

Week two of base building. After week one my legs are sore, tired and really don't want to go to spin class. But I'll be there. Let's just hope that it's not a hill repeat day!

My shin is getting worse. Hoping that my new products will arrive today or tomorrow. I'm really tring to do whatever I can to keep the leg in check. But it looks as though unless I stop exercising all together that is not going to happen. So I forge ahead with the hopes that I can keep the pain tolerable.

This week is much like last week with the exception that I will get more swim time in. Today is spin and about 2000m swim. Tuesday a run of about 3-4 miles and another swim of 1600m. Not sure what Wed will bring, maybe a rest day. Thursday will be run and bike, distance yet to be determined. Friday back to spin and swim.

Things are getting back to normal here as the holidays are well over. Nice to get into a routine again. I'm actually looking forward to following a training schedule next month. I haven't followed any structured program in over 2 years. Instead of trying to decide what to do it's laid out for me and I don't have to think about it. Just get er done and hope you can move the next day to do it again.

I did a little test yesterday on the treadmill. My husband is just starting out with his heart rate monitor. Trying to figure out how to use it seems to be a challenge for him. So after his 4 mile run he told he where is heart rate was for most of it. Mostly the last mile. It was in the mid 160's and into the 170's. That to me seems very very high seeing as he was running a 10 min mile. Yet he says his breathing wasn't labored. How is that possible? So I tried a 4 mile run at the same pace and found that my avg heart rate was 143. I then proceeded to run faster on mile 5, kept increasing the speed until I hit his high rate of 175. I got to 7:30 pace and was able to gut out 3/4 of a mile before I had to slow down. There is no way I could run with my heart rate that high for more than a sprint! So what's up with that? Why does he have such a high heart rate? More investigating is needed.

Bring on week two........

Working in Unison

Made it to Friday with a workout everyday. This morning it was shoveling for the third time in 2 days. Then onto spin class and then some swimming. Things are coming along nicely with the exception that my shin is a tad bit touchier than it was at the beginning of the week. Not a good sign. I felt it this morning as I was in bed and when I got up. Last night I decided to bite the bullet and order some kinesio tape and a compression wrap for shin splints. This in no way will help it heal but it may prevent it from getting bad fast and it will help with tolerating the pain. I will have to learn the correct way to tape the shin. It's quite entailed starting with wrapping of the arch and pulling it up and then continuing into the calf. It will probably take a whole roll before I get it right!

During spin class today I started thinking about the race and who I'm doing it with. It came to me as I looked down through the semi circle opening of the bike's handlebars and saw my feet. The bikes are very close so I was able to see 1 foot of the person to my right while looking down. Which like most spin days is my father. Today we seemed to be in unison. Didn't matter if we were riding a flat, or climbing a hill, didn't matter if the instructor said to add tension, our feet still matched up. I decided this means either I'm getting slower as I usually pedal faster than he does or he is getting faster. I would say my father's strength out of the 3 tri sports is the bike. So I'm going with he's getting faster. Pretty impressive for a 59 year old. I know that come the 1/2 iron man we will run our own race. I never would want to hold him back as I know he wouldn't want to hold me back. But for a few minutes today we were in unison, not just in pedal strokes but also our main focus. We have the same goal. So whether I am swimming along side him on race day or he is passing me on the bike or I pass him on the run we will be working in unison. He will be right there with me race day. Mentally he will help me get through this. I'm excited to achieve this goal but even more excited to do it with my Dad.

Sucking it up

As I take on this new year and the challenges that it brings I'm realizing that it may be harder than I thought. For reasons really unrelated to training I have a gut feeling that this year will be a huge test for me. I've been sliding through the past couple of years with a "C" average. That is not good enough for me. Something has got to change. I guess it's going to be me because that is the only person I can change. I hope things will work out the way I want them too, but I'm only a piece of the puzzle. I'm so tired of the roller coaster. So tired of thinking things are going great and looking up just to end up in the same old routine. As previously mentioned in one of my past posts....I need to reconnect.

So on to exercise news. I have taken the giant leap and sucked it up. I have decided to slow down. To take it easy. To build a base before I start IM training in Feb. I have iced twice a day. I am not pushing myself. I swallowed my pride and am trying to be smarter. I am so tired of being injured I can't even describe it. I have been doing races of 5 years now and I think for 75% of those races I was injured in some sort of way. Dealing with the pain has become expected and that's just wrong. So now my running pace is 10 mph instead of 9 ish. My biking is about 15 mph instead of 16-17. My swimming about 9:45 per 400m instead of 9:00. It's been hard these past 4 days not pushing my limits. But I have to say the knee is better and my shin has some discomfort but nothing I can't handle. Maybe base building is a brilliant idea!

I'll keep up this base buliding for another 2 1/2 weeks then I jump into training. The first month of IM training is thier version of base building. All work is done at a fairly easy pace the difference is it's about twice as much distance of each sport than I'm doing now. And that's just month 1! Should be a very interesting, hard and rewarding few months ahead.

Hurdle

I was anxious last night. Knowing what I know, today will be hard. Today will be a huge mental hurdle. Today I will fight to keep focused. Today I will cross that first line. The starting line.

I tried to start working out again last Monday and Tuesday and by Tuesday night my knee was in some serious pain. Not sure what I did or what happened. But I'm happy to report that it only is a tiny bit sore now. Problem is I'm not sure it's going to stay that way.

After spending an hour or so determining what I plan to tackle as far as training goes this year I have made my decision. I have a month to amp up the running to about 6 miles, get my bike legs back without soreness, and be able to swim 2000m without an issue. This is something I was able to do 5 weeks ago so it shouldn't take too terribly long to get it all back. Official HIM training starts Feb 1st.

So today I'm back at the gym. Taking spin class then heading to the pool to make sure I can still float. Tomorrow more swimming and a short run. We'll see then how the leg and knee hold up. I have a feeling that ice and I are going to be the best of friends for the next 6 months.

The gym is really the last place I want to be today. It will be the busiest day of the year for them. All those out of shape people showing up to do to much too soon. Many will be in spin class ready to take on the New Year with fitness. Spin class is not the place to start. How about a nice walk on the treadmill? These people will last a week or two get so sore then stop. The others that are more careful will last a few more weeks then quit due to boredom, no results or no time. By then we are talking mid Feb into March. Until then it will be a fight for a bike, a lane in the pool and a treadmill to run on. Get out of my way people. Don't you know I'm training for 4 races??

UPDATE: It's now about 4 hours later and the job is done. The minute my little one was off to school I hit the gym. Got to spin class early with 15 mins to spare. Hopped on and rode easy for about 20 mins. Knees were a little stiff but not painful. The instructor announced that it would be AT intervals today. Really? Today? Great. By 9:30 I was hurting. But then I got the runners high, or maybe in this case the bikers high. It rarely happens to me. I felt much better, like a weight had been lifted. I was glad I was there. Was good to be back. The rest of the class was hard don't get me wrong, with heart rates hovering between 150-163 but I felt strong. It was then onto the pool. I had to wait a few minutes for a lane and actually shared with someone else in order not to wait longer. I have to admit I've gotten slower. About 45 seconds slower per 400m then 6 weeks ago. But that should all come back to me by the end of the month. I was a bit clumsy, not cutting through the water as much as I would like but that too will come back to me. I ended up swimming 3 400m intervals. Nothing fancy, nothing extreme. Home now and icing the leg hoping it won't yell at me later today. New shoes came in the mail. Tried them on. They are either very very stiff or frozen. It'll let them warm up today and give them a try in the morning. I'm ready.......I'm back

Mind over Body

So here it is January 1st. I have been waiting for this day for over a month now. Not that I was rushing the holidays, but so much goes on in such a short amount of time that I look forward to the New Year and what it brings. Hopefully this year it will bring me happiness and a bit more peace. Last year was very tough not only for me but many of my family members. So many things happened that changed the course of my year, my plans and my hopes. But that is in the past now and it's time to look ahead to the future and what that entails for me personally.

Goal #1 1/2 Iron man in June
Goal #2 Recover from the shin splints
Goal #3 Stop getting injured in the first place
Goal #4 Try and relax, not everything has to be perfect all the time
Goal #5 Stay consistent in training
Goal #6 Reconnect


I could list more but I'd say that's the top 5. The hardest thing to accomplish I feel is staying injury free. Something always seems to happen. It may not stop me from training but it can slow me down, make it painful to train and not much of a motivator. I'm already struggling with the shin splints and I have hip issues and the other day I hurt my knee. So no workouts until Monday, per my PT, if the knee is better. If not then back to the doctor again and I didn't even get to start training. Hopefully, I'll heal enough to push on and get smarter about strenghtening my legs.

My motto for the 2010 year is Never Never Never give up. Have my poster and necklace already with the motto and my Ipod is loaded with some of my new favorite music. My bike has some new gear and my new running shoes are being shipped as I type this. The pool is waiting my return on Monday. I am ready, I want this bad, I want to get to that starting line in June. I will do whatever I need to get there. This year is about taking care of me, not everyone else. My mind is ready, but is my body ready? It has to be.