48 DAYS

So it's been awhile since I actually talked about training and how my newest challenge is going.

The Goofy challenge begins in 48 Days 12 hours and 25 mins. I thought about this fact as I ran 16 miles today. We have less than 2 months before I run 13.1 + 26.2 miles in two days. Right now I could handle running 20 without much issue. 26 is another story. Not to mention the 13 I have to run the day before.

In these next 48 days there will be only 6 more runs in the double digits. Another 6 runs of 8-9 miles. The rest about 5 milers. Doesn't seem like enough, does it? But I trust my training. I have used Hal Higdon's marathon training for all my marathons so far. I did choose to take the novice 1 schedule, which is the easiest, to tackle for the Goofy. A few reasons for this decision.

Time of year. I'll be spending a lot of time on the treadmill. I'll also be very busy with the holidays.

My shin. The least amount of running I do the better for my leg.

The fact that I still take spin class and strength train twice a week. I should be adding swimming in this section to, but I think I forgot how to swim.

I'm not doing the race for a PR. Though that would be nice.

A lot will happen in the next 48 days. Thanksgiving. In-Laws visiting for the week. Lots of shopping and wrapping. Decorating the house. About 100 dozen cookies to be made. My son's birthday, my husband's birthday. Christmas and finally New Years. I tend to get very overwhelmed every December.

So why not add the Goofy Challenge to the list right???

No Guarantee

It has a mind of it's own. It's frustrated, irritable, inflamed, anxious, tired and down right pissed off. It chooses when it feels like working and when it doesn't. It decides when it will make my life miserable for hours or when it runs out of energy it finally gives out.

I feel exactly the same way.

Frustrated in a way that I have never been.

Irritable enough that I hide from the family for their sake.

I'm always inflamed, too much running.

Anxious enough that I start to shake in my own skin when I think I can't make it through.

Tired like there is no end. No amount of rest has given me any energy.

I am beyond pissed off. I am mad at myself, my body and what control this has over my life.

I choose when I will workout and when I won't. But my "it" fights me every step of the way.

I decide to be miserable.

I decide to pass out when I just can't take anymore at the end of the day.


I am 39 years old.

I should not be taking this medication.

I am stuck with it for a month. Yes another month.

With no guarantee.

The doctor reviewed all my tests and cultures from the past 6 weeks. I had a bladder scan done. I sat and talked while he listened. I tried to hold the tears while telling him that it is affecting my daily life. He in return told me that because my initial infection was so bad and it took so long to get the right meds to take care if it that my bladder is all out of whack. It needs time to heal. To get it to heal it must be relaxed. Sounds like to me I need to take my bladder and go on vacation. However, that doesn't seem to be in the doctor's orders. Instead I am taking Toviaz. Once a day for a month. I have two doses and depending on how I do I can up the dose.

I will not see any improvement for at least a week. So another week I go dealing with my nasty organ. This has to work.

Randomness

I've had a lot of things floating around in my head in the last 24 hours. Some good, some not so good. So without any regard to order or preference I feel the need to share my thoughts.

My shin. I hate the fact that I am permanently injured. But I learned something from yesterdays 10 miler. I made a point of wearing my compression socks for days before. I iced a few times before. On the day of the race I was meticulous with my keniso tape and duck tape. I wore "tight" tights. I wore my compression socks again all day yesterday after the race. I waited all night for the pain to hit. For the ache in the bone. Instead my knees and thighs ached. Damn hills. But my shin, no worse for wear. Today it is just as it always is. I need to make a point of caring for my shin like that always not just before a race. I was able to hold off anymore damage that the hills and trail could of created. Now the blood blisters on the balls of my feet are another thing!


My family. I have a wonderful family. I sat on the couch last night and looked down the line. Next to me was my 11 year old baby. Then his older and much wiser (so he thinks) brother. Next to him was Chole all snuggled on a blanket with her head propt on a pillow. Then my husband stretch out on the end with tired eyes waiting for the phone to ring. I realized at that moment how good we have it. All of us together. Some watching TV, some playing with Ipods and some just in a daze. We support each other. We are always there for each other. We laugh together, we cry together. When one is sick the others step it up to help. There is respect and love. We can still all snuggle on the couch together and enjoy each other. It's come to my attention that a lot of families don't work this way. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. My family when I was young wasn't like that. I know a lot of families that have an awful lot of turmoil going on everyday. Right now both our extended families are struggling with huge problems. Problems that can and will affect all of us. Guilt sets in as we are between 10-13 hours away from the extended family. There is only so much we can do to help. But even though we are far away it affects us dramatically. It changes the way you think. How you feel. How you choose to live your own life. I choose to sit on the couch and giggle and snuggle with my family. I will do everything in my power to hold on to what my family has. My extended family, well I'm here for you too. But you only get a part of me. I will do what I can. I will do all that I can. But not at the sacrifice of my children or my husband.

My on going UTI. I'm now on my 5th antibiotic that I don't think is doing much of anything. I'm on a mission to figure this out. I came to a conclusion this morning. I have been thinking a lot of my symptoms are anxiety related. I had the UTI for quite awhile and it caused a lot of pain and worry especially when I was out of the house. Now they say the UTi is gone. Yet I still have symptoms. Well I went shopping yesterday and was miserable. Couldn't get out of the store fast enough. I felt like I would just pee in my pants right there in front of everyone. Anxiety right? Well that's what I thought. But for awhile now I have been noticing that if I have to truly go, I do and then it seems to act up. So the mere fact that I go before I leave the house maybe triggering the symptoms with the anxiety. I proved that theory this morning. When I exercise my body functions shut off for the most part. The feeling of needing to go to the bathroom goes away within about 20 mins of hard exercise. This has always been the case for me. So I headed to the gym this morning to take spin class. Sure enough I used the bathroom twice before it started and was in pain for 20 mins. Then it subsided. Finished class and now decided to test my theory. I passed the bathroom even though I could of gone. Grabbed my stuff and headed back to the store. Not only did I shop I only had a twinge or two of the need to go. Which after drinking 20oz of water in class and a protein smoothie doesn't surprise me. I was there probably about 30 mins. Not really sure. I left with a smile on my face. Bingo. It's not anxiety. My body was still shut down from class. Takes about an hour or so before I get all the organs working properly again. I've determined the mere fact of going to the bathroom can cause all the symptoms to hit and hit hard. The more I go the worse it gets. Did some research on this and came up with a few possibilities. We'll see what happens this week.

While at the store I did the unthinkable. I bought yogurt. Not for the kids or husband but for me. Greek yogurt. I hate yogurt. Makes me gag. But Greek yogurt is supposed to be so good for you I thought I would give it another try. I'm trying to come up with healthy alternatives to my binge eating in the afternoon. Will Greek yogurt be my answer?

It's Monday and all I know is last week was miserable. I'm hoping this week is better. Chances are with the family drama it's not going to be. It will be mentally challenging for myself and my husband. But we'll be there for each other. We always are.

Northwest Trail Run Report

Today I tried something new.

Maybe not the smartest move but I'm all about pushing myself outside my not so large box.

For those that know me, know there are a few things about running I hate. I can handle the pain, speed and endurance. What I typically complain about is the WIND, HILLS and TRAILS. I can avoid two of these three pretty easily. The wind, well that's a toss up. Many of times I have chosen to run on the treadmill to avoid the wind.

So what did I do this morning? I ran a 10 mile trail run. Big deal right? I ran a 13.1 mile trail run for my 1/2 ironman. Well I realize that was a piece of cake compared to the one this morning.


About 300 runners gathered in a field waiting for the gun to go off. I had no idea which way to run or where we were headed. Just follow the crowds. Many of the runners were doing 5 miles. I'd say at least 2/3 of them. It was a 5 mile loop. My plan was to do at least the 5 miles then make a decision on whether to go for the second loop. Gun goes off we head to the opposite side of the field to a tiny opening in the brush. We come to a complete stop. Waiting for 300 of us to merge single file into the woods. Start running and stop 10 seconds later. Run again, stop again. Within .20 of a mile we were headed straight up. Damn that was a huge first hill. No way to pass people as the trail is too small. Not that I could have at this point anyway. I had Dave and my Dad right behind me for quite awhile. Our first mile was finished at a whopping speed of 12:30. Somehow I was going to have to figure out how to get past people without tripping on tree roots or rocks along the way.

I managed to pass about 10 people or so. Then it opened up just enough where two runners could run next to each other. With Dave still right behind me.........oh, wait he decides to pass me. Really? You just go ahead, I'll keep my eye on you. You won't get far. Let's just say the whole 5 mile loop was ridiculous. There was never a flat area to run. It was either a gradual uphill or a huge uphill. Or vice versa. At least 2-3 hills were so steep or so covered in leaves, roots, and rocks there was no way I could make it up running. I could walk faster than run it. I caught up with Dave on the largest hill. He kindly shared his water and I so kindly gave up my last Gu since he lost one of his. A short time later I stopped to retie my shoes. Well well there he goes again. Now in front of me. It stayed that way for another 1/2 mile or so then I caught up again on another hill and was able to hold pace as I pulled ahead. My father at this point is somewhere behind both of us. I begin to wonder if I should do the second loop. I signed up for 10 but I could stop at 5. The worst thing for my shin is hills and uneven terrain. But other than it being hard to run all the hills. I felt good. There wasn't any serious speed going on here so I wasn't spent yet. Dave caught up just as the decision was made.....turn left across the field yet again for loop two. Up down up down. Runners very sparse at this point. I made it my mission to focus on the runner ahead of me and pass them. I passed about 7 people. Only one passed me. I picked up my pace a bit during the tiny and twisted part of the trail. I lost Dave and was just running in the forest all on my own. It was the best part of the race. No one behind me or in front. Watching to make sure I made the right turns and watching my footing I was soon back on the larger path. Managed to pass a few more men and just kept going. This was the first race I'd wish I had my camera. Unless you have run these trails before you can't imagine how hilly they are.

As I made it up the last hill and turned left towards the finish line about 1/2 mile away I turned and looked behind me. Who do I see? Dave only about .10 of a mile behind. I'm impressed. At the same time I think crap keep going! I won't let him sneak up on me again. I pass my kids and Mooma who got to go to breakfast while we ran. Lucky them! I cross the line around 1:47. No results up yet. It was in no way speedy. But this was not a place to run fast. This is not how I train. This was extremely hard on the legs and come to find out the balls of my feet. I now have blisters under my callouses. Dave finished just a minute later and my Dad hanging in with a time just under 2 hours. Well done by all of us I must say.

And I will now admit. I still hate wind, hills and trails but overall I enjoyed this race. It was nice to do something totally different.

My box is now just a little bit bigger ;)